Christmas Reflection: Shifting from a “To Do” to a “Being” Mindset

BY EMILY WINN

St. Patrick’s College, Maynooth University, Maynooth, Ireland

“However, I think there is much to be said about shifting your view of life from doing to being. The question of what do you have to do, should change to how do you want to be.”

For the past three months, I had the incredible opportunity to study abroad in Maynooth, Ireland. An Irish town of about 15,000 people, Maynooth was a wonderful place to live. Maynooth is about a forty minute bus ride outside of Dublin city center and provided the perfect respite for me to reflect, learn about the Irish culture, and learn about myself.

I lived on a college campus, next to a beautiful church. I was able to integrate into Irish culture, take classes with Irish students and professors, and make connections with many people. Ireland as a country is beautiful, with a very distinct culture that cannot be found anywhere else in the world. The Irish natives I encountered were warm, friendly, and more focused on living in the present than I am used to.

My study abroad experience was truly once in a lifetime. I feel so blessed that I was able to travel abroad at all, and that I could travel not only all across Ireland, but to many other European countries as well. I took 5 classes at Maynooth University and had the chance to play on the soccer team. However, these are all things I did, and while they were life changing, they were not actually the most impactful part of my experience.

Going into my study abroad experience, I had high hopes to travel intensely, spending every weekend in a different location. I wanted to do and see as much as I could in the small time I was given. I quickly attempted to make plans for all the weekends, filling up every second with an adventure. This is the way that I have always lived my life, wanting every moment to be full, to feel that I am taking full advantage of opportunity. This mentality leads to everything becoming part of the to do list. This to do list includes the normal activities such as grocery shopping and doing laundry, but also included things such as “get coffee with so and so” or “make time for myself.” In considering every aspect of my life as part of the “to do” list I was not giving the personal parts of my life enough credit, and they began to blend together with the less enjoyable, routine activities.

This mentality is common in American culture, and I quickly found that it did not mesh well with European culture, and especially Irish culture, and I felt a disconnect. While I was trying to do as much as I could, my Irish counterparts were focused on something else: being in the moment and enjoying every part of it. In noticing this disconnect, I realized that I myself was so caught up in the doing, that I missed out on the being, and this was not only limiting my study abroad experience, but not allowing me to be the fullest version of myself either.

Now it is easy to feel overwhelmed by all the to dos, especially during this time of the year. There are so many things to get done in time for Christmas, so much to accomplish in the last days of 2021 to prepare for the new year, and only so much time. However, I think there is much to be said about shifting your view of life from doing to being. The question of what do you have to do, should change to how do you want to be.

Especially in a time of disconnection fueled by social distancing and the pandemic, it is more of a time than ever to just spend time with loved ones, and be, not do. I believe that God created each and every one of us in his image, and in a very unique and loving way. And I believe that God does not care as much about what you do, as he cares how you treat others and how you live in the moments that you are given. During this Christmas season, focus on being. Do not let the things that need to get done fall to the wayside but focus on the actual action of doing those things and find thankfulness in the smallest of moments.

Although it took me living on another continent to realize the value of being, I hope to carry this mentality with me for the rest of my life. I realize how much more content and energized I feel when I shift to this way of thinking, and I am a much more thankful and humble person because of it. The pace of life I am returning to is very different than the pace of life I experienced in Ireland, but I will work hard to remember how at peace I felt in Maynooth, Ireland.

I saw so much and learned so much during my time abroad. But above all, I understood the value of appreciating every opportunity and every individual moment I am given, and I hope that this message leaves you all with the same mentality.

Why We Shouldn't Quit: A Note on Persevering

By Dr. Julie O’Connell

“So do not throw away your confidence; it will be richly rewarded.  You need to persevere so that when you have done the will of God, you will receive what He has promised.”

— Hebrews 10:35-37

I am writing to you today as someone who gets overwhelmed, fearful, and stuck from time to time.  I will give you an example: I rent out a condominium to tenants, and their lease is up.  I have no desire to live in that property myself, and the real estate market is great. There are benefits that will likely come from my selling the property now, not the least of which is freedom from being a landlord (a job I don’t especially enjoy).  Still, I can sit in front of a situation like this in a state of paralysis.  How will I walk through all of the steps it will take to get to the closing?

 Angela Duckworth, the Rosa Lee and Egbert Chang Professor of Psychology at the University of Pennsylvania, has dealt with this issue.   In a book she wrote (that actually became a New York Times bestseller),[2]  she asked military cadets, schoolteachers, and 5th grade spelling experts why they were successful.  As the title of her book indicates, Duckworth discovered that these individuals succeeded because they had “grit,” which she defined as “passion and perseverance for the long term.”  It wasn’t how big their dreams were or how much they achieved; the achievers she surveyed succeeded because of how much they could overcome and for how long. 

Many of us face difficulties in life, and we give up.  It seems too hard for us, and we feel like throwing in the towel.  We feel like we can’t do it alone.  Well, I’m writing today to tell you that we shouldn’t quit.  As Duckworth says, we need grit, but it’s something many of us lack. Why?

1. Our perspectives are often limited. We only need to look to the Old Testament to realize this. Just before Joshua fought the battle of Jericho, he and the Israelites circled the city for seven days. For the first six, they went quietly and followed the Lord’s command, marching once each day around the city.  Those walls seemed high, and God’s promise seemed impossible to obtain. All they could likely see were problems, and all they could feel was doubt. But they stayed on in faith. On the seventh day, the priests blew their trumpets, the men shouted, they marched around  the city seven times, and then the walls came tumbling down.  [3]

Sometimes, we  only see problems all around us: walls that seem impossible to break through.  But if we remain in faith and keep following what God wants, He will take care of the rest.  We can’t see what He has promised from our vantage point, but we also can’t give  up because we may be closer to  the end than we  know.

I like how those men were quietly walking for six days.    I like it because I think that walking can be a spiritual practice.  Author Rebecca Solnit comments on this in her book, Wanderlust: A History of Walking.  She writes:

Many people nowadays live in a series of interiors…disconnected from each other. On foot everything stays connected, for while walking one occupies the spaces between those interiors in the same way one occupies those interiors. One lives in the whole world rather than in interiors built up against it.”[4]

What I’m learning is that when I’m walking,  I can be present  in my experience, but I need  to be  quiet and walk by faith, trusting that I am closer than I think.   When faced with wall-sized problems, I find myself asking, “Where is God? Why me?”  Perhaps God is building my faith and I’m in my six days of walking because He is changing me before He changes my circumstance.  Lord knows I am not perfect: as it says in Proverbs 25:4, I’m silver mixed with dross.  The bad parts in me (the dross) are stopping the blacksmith (God) from doing his work.   My dross is almost always made up of insecurity and fear.  Still, in order for the vessel to become pure silver, the blacksmith has to remove the dross (actually, with fire)!  So the walking is going to be difficult: “no pain, no gain,” as they say.  Another way of thinking of it, though, is how it is referred to in my silver-sneaker yoga class: “no pain, no strain.”  I can take care of myself as I’m walking through this hard work, this life. 

For the Israelites, it was 40 years of wandering and wondering where God was.  It’s the same for us.  Life is hard, and no one is spared.  We can’t ever fully imagine the private battles each and every person we meet is facing.  Our burdens may seem heavy, but we can’t stop walking. 

2. We don’t see the progress we are making.   This is another reason  why we give up, but it is in these  times that we must realize that God is still with us.  Even when we are  tempted to quit, we have to stick together and keep walking. God’s promise may be closer than we know.   

A famous swimmer named Florence Chadwick was the first woman to swim the English Channel both ways.  One day, she was on a different swim, fifteen hours into it, and very tired.  She asked those who were in the small rowboat accompanying her if she could get into their boat and quit. 

“Don’t get in!  Keep going!” they told her. 

But no.  She couldn’t go on, so she stopped, pulled herself into the boat, and gave up.  After she gathered herself  together, she peered out into the distance,  and from that vantage point, she saw that if she had just kept going  a little bit more, she would have made it to the finish.  Indeed, she was less that ½ mile to the shore. 

We can’t always see the whole picture, and we can’t see what God can see, but if we continue to trust Him and let him refine us through our laps in the sea and our laps around the city, we will get there.  If we quit, we might find out that we were only one lap away from victory. 

Today, victory may be closer than we think, so keep swimming, through the fog and the rain, and keep marching around impossibly tall walls.  Wait for them to collapse before you.  The world is going to tell you to give up, and when the pain feels like it’s too much to bear, you will want to quit, but you can’t.  Walk by faith, not by sight. Persevere.

Don’t throw in the towel today.  Remember that Jesus took that towel to wash people’s feet, the day before His last supper on earth.  He kept his eyes focused on his Father, despite what He had to walk through. That’s what we should do, too. Don’t stop working harder and reaching higher.  Each day, you are getting a little bit closer to the end.  You’re almost there.

[1] https://biblehub.com/niv/hebrews/10.htm

[2] Duckworth, Angela. Grit: The Power of Passion and Perseverance. , 2016. Print.

[3] Joshua 6:1-27.

[4] Solnit, Rebecca. Wanderlust: A History of Walking. New York: Viking, 2000. Print

Motherhood: A Work of Faith and Love

By Sosamma Samuel-Burnett, JD
Founder/President, G.L.O.B.A.L. Justice

“And Mary said, ‘My soul magnifies the Lord, and my spirit rejoices in God my Savior, for he has looked on the humble estate of his servant. For behold, from now on all generations will call me blessed.”

— Luke 1:46-48

They say that being a mother is the toughest job you will ever love.  I think there is a lot of truth to that. That doesn’t mean that being a mother is always the hardest job to do in and of itself. There are jobs in our world that can be physically, mentally, and emotionally more demanding than being a mom. But the various roles and demands that are placed on mothers in society create layers for the job of motherhood that are distinctly “tough.” And when those layers are intertwined with deep and sacrificial love, the role of mother is like no other.

The circumstances that many mothers face can make the responsibilities of motherhood a significant burden for many around the world. Many mothers have the principal responsibility of caring for their child or children. Many of those mothers are caring for multiple children, children with special needs, or even other children.  Many mothers are facing economic hardships that place their families in tremendous need. Many mothers also work outside the home with long hours or difficult circumstances to provide for their families or pursue their careers. Many are single parents who may work outside the home and also have to juggle parenthood on their own or with distant co-parenting. Many are young mothers who have to grow and learn as their children do. Many are older moms that face challenging personal contexts. Many mothers are adoptive, foster, and family members who have to step in for birth mothers. Many mothers are facing discrimination and do not have the opportunities to provide, get ahead, or thrive. Many mothers are facing abuses, whether at home or in the community that cause physical, mental, and emotional strain to them and their motherhood. Many mothers are facing famine, poverty, oppression and war, and are left as slaves or refugees with their families.

But mothers’ roles are not diminished in any way by the political, social, and economic contexts in which they live. They still bring children into the world – truly the greatest gift and opportunity that any human being can have. They still provide and care for their children and families – regardless of their circumstances.  They still serve the larger purpose of motherhood – to give children a base to start and continue life. They still sacrifice for the opportunity to give their children a better future.  

What each mother does in the life of that each child can have an eternal impact not only for the child, but also our world. And that is certainly the case in my life and the life of our family.

My mother was married at 17 and gave birth to me when she was just 18 years old. She was born and raised in a small village in India and had never travelled beyond that village. Yet, she found the courage to follow my Dad to Canada and the U.S. She had to raise my brother and me, and later my sister, in these western cultures that she did not know. She learned English watching Sesame Street with her kids.  She faced economic and social challenges. But her devotion to her faith and to her children provided her with a mission to ensure that her children would thrive, even in a new country and context.

My mother-in-law raised my husband and his brother in difficult circumstances. Their father was an alcoholic and the family faced the challenges of divorce and living in different locations. But even from a distance, my husband’s mother instilled in him the importance of family, education, and a future. Those lessons allowed my husband to persevere and overcome significant challenges to achieve and become the man he is today. 

While both of our moms are distinct people who faced distinct circumstances and challenges, they brought us each to a place where we were able to meet, marry, and raise our own family. We often reference our mothers and what they taught us as guides for what we choose to teach our children. 

As a mother, I am raising a son and twin daughters. It is not an easy task but one that has been my greatest gift. Each of these children is wholly distinct and I could not have predicted their characteristics. But my hope is to raise each of them with the love and knowledge of Jesus Christ, with a love and support of their family, and with the love and awareness to serve the people of our world.  

During each of my pregnancies, I reflected on and learn from the example of Mary, Mother of Jesus. What a gift and burden she had while expecting and when she raised her child, our Savior. The verses in Luke referenced here demonstrate how humbly and faithfully she took on that role, but also how aware she was of the significance and impact of that role – for generations. Following the example of Mary, every mother has a role and an opportunity that impacts generations through each child. Circumstances can make the role of mothers so tough, but the significance of each mother’s role magnifies God’s love. 

Happy Mother’s Day to all the mothers and mother figures in our lives and in our world!